Please Help!! I have a paper due tomorrow and I just can't get it right!?

I would say that that's actually pretty good. I'm sure you'll impress your teacher a great deal. It IS very descriptive in many ways. I can feel the emotions that you've tried to input into the text and have been successful with, I can ure you, it is an excellent piece of work. Remember to put in any apostrophes where it's talking about posession, or for example: it is would become it's. Like in the second paragraph: the first word should be It's not Its. But apart from that, I congratulate your success.